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The question is - how do I change all this -- how can I defeat fear? Do you have a suggestion how could I reframe my thinking and my self-image?nThanx my friend, Robertn Hey Bob,Well, you ask the million dollar question; how to defeat fear?
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***QUESTION***
David,
Hey there! First off your ebook and newsletter are awesome. They have helped me start to understand attraction and put me at ease around women. I used to be super shy but a lot of this i think stemmed from me feeling powerless around women. Anyways i take it that this stuff takes a while to learn... i've already seen results -- my dating has gone from zero to every now and then which is great. Further more i now feel that if i am interested in a girl i can actually DO something about it which is very important. Anyways onto my question. I must say that i have built up quite a bit of frustration over the years when almost every girl i'm interested in seems to be dating someone or already or have a boyfriend. So now i pretty much see it as an important question to ask a girl straight up. "Do you have a boyfriend?" "are you married?" "are you seeing someone?" "have you squeezed out any brats yet?" -- stuff like this... of course i'm thinking add a humour spin on it would probably be the best. Anyways i ask this question cause i really don't want to waste my time and hopes on a girl whos already taken. Do you think it is a bad idea to ask this question?? Does it reflect badly upon me?
Thanks, sick of boyfriends.
» MY COMMENTS:
To begin with, STOP CARING WHAT WOMEN THINK OF YOU.
Being overly self-conscious will screw up your composure, which will screw up EVERYTHING.
Next, try my personal super-secret line for finding out if a woman has a boyfriend.
Here it comes. Hold on...
"Are you single?"
I know, you can stop clapping now.
Think about this for a minute.
Here's what most guys do...
They ask stupid questions like:
"Um, I'll bet you have a boyfriend, RIGHT?"
...or...
"Can I take you out sometime?"
BLEH!
I'll sometimes ask a woman "Are you single" as the VERY FIRST THING when starting a conversation.
Here's how and why it works...
You look directly at her... right into her eyes... with a look that telegraphs the message that you are totally in control of yourself and everything around you, and you ask in an almost suspicious tone of voice that says:
"You probably have a loser boyfriend that you're bored with, in which case I'm not going to want to talk to you... but I have to ask, just in case you're single... in which case I might need to take a few minutes and find out if you're the kind of woman I'd be interested in getting to know better."
It's ALL in the body language and voice tone.
Now if you ask "Are you single?"
...and she PAUSES... just say:
"I'll take that as a yes" and keep going. She'll let you know if she's not. And she'll love your Cocky joke in any case.
If she says "No, I'm not" just say "good night" and walk away.
Think that one through a couple of times.
Imagine doing it exactly as I describe here.
Then try it.
You'll like it.